Crashing, Suffering, Compassion, Courage, and Thanksgiving

Our ancestors, from all continents and cultures, handed down stories of our prehistory to wake us up to live courageously for the benefit of all. These stories remind us of what Humanity has lost: our original companionship with the Universe and God, the first songs and winds that engendered life and caressed Creation, the gift of living in wondrously lush gardens, unity between woman and man, friendship between humanity and the animals, universal harmony, and love. These stories tell also of our great early crashes: the first jealousies, the first power-grabs, the first crimes, the first upheavals, the separation between Earth and Heaven, our divisions, our battles, and our hate. In these stories, we are the main actors striving to overcome our pain, guilt, and shame and striving to re-attain our collective Humanity, Conscience, and Oneness.

A peaceful dawn on the Kunene River in Africa by Hans Hillewaert

“In the tender compassion of our God, the dawn from on high shall break upon us, to shine on those who dwell in darkness and in the shadow of death, and to guide our feet into the way of peace.” – Luke 1:78-79, photograph of a dawn along the Kunene River in Africa by Hans Hillewaert in June 2007.

Hurting from all we’ve lost, we should collectively and courageously have immense compassion for one another. Instead, however, hurting from all we’ve lost, we, as individuals in denial, tend hardly to think of the great sufferings around us. Hurting from all we’ve lost, we, as individuals in fear, run from suffering and run from people who are suffering. Hurting from all we’ve lost, we, as individuals lured by the pursuits of personal prosperity and status, give up on what Humanity has lost.

Still, no matter how hard, fast, or far we run, there’s no escape from great suffering. Yet, as individuals we try to live like this isn’t so. When great suffering comes, in shock we try to hold on to our denial, but sooner or later our illusions are shattered, we can’t ignore what we have lost, and the emptiness of our lives reveals itself.

Crashed and emptied, we may harden our hearts in anger and die inside, we may disengage even more from others, or we may just sweep what has been lost under some rug in some forgotten room and lock the door shut. If so, we’re just moving on as an individual and seeing our crash as an isolated exception to our otherwise “fine” and “normal” lives.

Or, alternatively, crashed and emptied, we can courageously open our hearts in compassion, see the suffering that is all around us, join our tears with the tears of God, and engage our pains and sorrows with all our energy and effort. Being now awake, we can work collectively to create a wholly renewed world where nothing is wasted, every gift is shared, and every need filled – a wholly renewed world on the course of infinite joy, generosity, hope, understanding, creativity, openness, forgiveness, and love (see prayer). We CAN save all that each of us and all Humanity has lost!

Great suffering has come to me too. My daughter, Gina, at 9 months old, was killed in an automobile accident on May 9, 1986. I’m shaking right now as I write about this crash. It still hurts and I’m still struggling for wholeness. About an hour ago, I reread some words from my journal, “Gina died for me. Gina died that my life and its mission might continue. Remember Gina, remember our canoe trip [a moment of incredible unity shared between Gina and I just a few weeks before she died], remember the people of the Bay Minette and Atmore areas [where we lived at that time] and all the people that shared our life then! Remember and live!”

Courage is neither about being perfect nor being a lone hero. Courage is much more about being connected to one another and showing up for one another. I have seen astounding courage and enduring love in others, and these people have inspired me to pray with Gina and pray for Gina every night. I’m still struggling to live and to be the things that I’m writing about here. I hope my simple courage to share my thoughts, experiences, and stories will also speak to you. Moreover, I am gaining the courage and love to be in union with everyone and to join the great collective endeavor to regain, not only all that has been lost, but with God’s healing to live for much more as well, much that is beyond our wildest dreams.

Carl Jung, a renowned psychologist, who wrote much about Humanity’s stories and how they embody our collective nature, also spoke of suffering, “I am not what has happened to me. I am what I choose to become.” Similarly, Brené Brown, a vulnerability researcher, says, “Own your story! Don’t bury it … If you own this story you get to write the ending.” Part of the Good News is that we can all start writing the rest of Humanity’s story!

I must share about another crash too, a particular crash that occurred 38 years ago, today, December 1, 1974. Real people, 92 people who will never be forgotten … children, parents, students, soldiers, runners, artists … all fellow passengers … died in that crash on that day, TWA Flight 514. It is a great sorrow whenever people die tragically, but even in such crashes, like when my daughter, Gina, died, or when my mother died suddenly, their light can shine for us in new ways. The light of TWA Flight 514 and the light of all crashes can lead us toward our great benefit, toward our great hope, and even ultimately toward our great thanksgiving.

As we, fellow human beings, continue on our journey in this life, we grow together step by step, and we seek to support one another as best we can. So today, on this 38th anniversary of this crash, I would like to make the following dedication to all those who died and to all their love ones:

We are never alone!
The Great Compassionate One hears each of our cries and holds us in all our hurt!
Be compassionate!
Shed tears!
Let go of all that holds us back!
Receive compassion and forgiveness!
Our sorrow will turn to joy!
We will rejoice!

We are never without help!
The Great Courageous One hears our cries and raises up all who crash!
Be courageous!
Awaken, the long night is ending!
The past, present, and future are being united!
A new dawn is breaking!
Live and work for the benefit of all!

We are never without hope!
The Great Healing One shares our tears and brings us together!
Together we’ll become as children!
Together we’ll put away our divisions and find our way forward!
Together we’ll live and work for the benefit of all!
Together we’ll recover all that was lost and much, much more!
Together we’ll give thanks without end!







3 thoughts on “Crashing, Suffering, Compassion, Courage, and Thanksgiving

  1. I will never forget Gina. We shared a special time, too. I was able to carry her in my zippered up coat as she was sleeping. It was a wonderful feeling to hold her that way. We were walking ‘the land’ where you lived together – you were with us. I kept that coat for many years because she had touched it. I think of her as my Godmother. So glad to hear you speak of her. Tears fall as I write this. A sign of healing – as per our Mom.

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  2. Thanks, Irene, for sharing your experience with Gina – Gina being carried close to your heart, peacefully asleep, and lovingly warmed by you is wonderful. It reminds me of Gina and my canoe experience.

    Thanks, too, for sharing the understanding of tears as a sign of healing. I have often thought of tears as a sign that there is something real inside of us. I’m reflecting now on tears as a sign of healing and thinking how a healer needs tears too.

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  3. Some friends have asked about Gina and my canoe experience. Well, at the time, our family lived in the country where we had a small pond nestled in the woods near our house. It was night, and Gina and I were drifting in the canoe at the pond. Everything felt calm; everything welcoming. The singing insects were relaxing and serenading us. The woods around us seemed both protective and embracing. Even the stars and the Milky Way seemed to be shining their utmost for us and welcoming us into the dark sky. I began holding Gina in a lying down position so that she could easily see the stars above her. We seemed to be entering into a deep cosmic unity. Eventually, Gina fell asleep, and everything seemed just so extraordinarily peaceful.

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